The Rich Are Different

December 2050. As he punched in the security code that snowy night at the armed entrance of the gated community, Ricketts Glen, at the corner of Clark and Addison in Chicago, the wind was so cold that his hands felt as if he had plunged them in fire. The vacant, snow flake stares of the street people cowering in front of the Hyatt and Best Buy across the street were making her nervous, so he hurried to punch in the code. And he kept chattering. “You know there used to be a baseball stadium here. They called it Wrigley Field.”

“No way!” she said, shaking her long blonde hair back from her face and shivering all in one move. Her blue eyes wide. “I had heard there was like a church or something here?” He loved how most everything she said sounded like a question. Questions he pretty much knew the answers to. Maybe tonight would turn out better than he thought.

“Actually. . .” be began. He was being extra careful to try and sound smart. She had told him in the bar that she liked guys with big ah. . .brains; was the way she put it. That’s when she tossed off that killer smile. And he pretty much forgot everything after that. Except to try and sound smart. So he was trying to get the, ‘yeah, I’m older and that means I know stuff, kinda like a college professor’ kind of thing going. Starting sentences with words like “actually” seemed to fit. What he did not see was how her eyes zeroed in on his Ricketts Glen ID card when he pulled it out and signaled for another round of drinks. “Actually,” he said, “There was a church here. That was a really long time ago. A seminary. They trained ministers here. But the Clark Street bars got a little wild. That’s when they built the baseball park. Wrigley Field they called it. It was here until they tore it down to build Ricketts Glen.”

The security code took, he heard the buzzer, the green iron door whooshed open and he saw the man in the glass booth holding the Chinese made automatic weapon nod at him. He nodded back and then watched as she immediately unbuttoned her coat in the climate-controlled air. “Oh my God. It is like what, 69 in here or something?”

“To be precise, it’s kept at a constant 72 degrees Fahrenheit.” He said authoritatively. “So you like our little corner of the world?”

“I had like seen stories about places like this, but I’d never actually like been in one? So like, who is Ricketts?”

“Oh they were the family that owned the stadium and the baseball team.”

“So what happened? I mean look at this place,” she said, taking in the sweeping green grass lawns lit by artificial light designed to lower blood pressure, each of the homes with their own green space, gardens, streams sprinkling through the community all encased inside a translucent bubble thin as a microchip yet capable of deflecting a nuclear attack. “I mean this place is like heaven! These Ricketts people, they must have been like geniuses or something, right?”

“Well, depends on how you read history I guess,” I said like someone who should be smoking a pipe and wearing a faded corduroy blazer with patches on the elbow.

“The Ricketts kids bought the baseball team and the stadium for the same reason any of us would have. It was a toy. And their Daddy had the money, so why not?”

“Mmm,” she said, as we walked through the artificial summer air to my house.

“They wanted to fix up the stadium. So they did what any of the wealthy folks of that era would do. They went looking for other people’s money to pay for it.”

“So they like really did that back then?”

“Oh but of course my dear,” I said punching in the security code for my front door. As we walked in, the size of the rooms, the décor, maybe the music I’m not sure, made her eyes go wide again. “This place is something!” she whispered as she tossed her coat on a chair and begin to take it all in.

“C’mon” I said, the elevator is this way. I’ll show you my Tower Room.” Or, as some people called it, I thought, my bedroom.

“OK,’ she said, for some reason now a bit meekly. She then got a quizzical look on her face, “But wait, she said, these Ricketts people?” Why couldn’t they get other people’s money?”

“Oh, that’s the interesting part. I mean they really tried. The first place they went was of course to the government. That was back when the way the government worked was that if the politicians and the business people who owned them said something the right way, they could make anybody believe anything.”

“Huh?”

“Well the Ricketts tried to get tax money, bonds, to pay to fix up their stadium. And in those days people actually believed that the more money flowed to the rich people, the better life would be for poor people.”

“What? People like believed that? No way!”

“Oh yeah,” I said. Back in those days, people voted against their own self interest all the time. Why I remember reading about when all this was going on. The Ricketts kids said they wanted tax money that would have gone to schools or firemen to pay for their baseball team. And at the very same time, their Daddy, the one that actually made the money the kids were given, actually made a video saying that he wanted smaller government.”

“But that like, I mean I know maybe I don’t like understand this stuff, but that makes no sense at all! How did they like pull that off?” she said as the elevator door swooshed open unto the tower room. A 360 degree view of the twinkling Chicago night, the stars blending in with the city lights.

Kicking off her heels, she ran past the bed to the window, “Oh. My. God! This is like beautiful! No wonder they wanted to like tear down the baseball stadium!”

“Actually they didn’t want to tear it down. They did everything they could to get the free money. The Ricketts kids never really understood. They thought they were owed the money to fix up their place.”

“Really? They thought people would just like PAY them? With taxes?”

“Oh they tossed off all the usual garbage talk about creating jobs and it being a good thing for the community and they threatened to leave and they got a few politicians to try and make it law. They skipped a few politicians too.”

“Which ones did they skip?”

“The smart ones.”

“So like, I am really having trouble getting this.”

“Here it is in one sentence. They were rich people. They thought this was their due. Even though what they were saying was, pay me to fix my house before you pay a fireman to be ready in case your house starts to burn.”

“Wow! I never knew rich people could be that dumb.”

“Oh they weren’t dumb. This is the way a lot of people thought back then. Sure, it was all a con game, this idea that making rich people richer helped poor people. But it was so well played that most of the poor people believed it too.”

“Well I’ll tell you one thing,” she said, dancing over to the bed and leaping into the middle then motioning me over with her finger.

“What’s that?” I said as she grabbed the front of my shirt and pulled me down beside her.”

“I’m sure glad that I didn’t live back when there was a yucky old baseball stadium here.”

“Me too. I said. Me too.”

Then no words. Only the snow. Falling on the bubble where there used to be a baseball park.

“His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead.”

James Joyce.

“The Dead”

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Our Veterans Day 2010

Stumbling south along a scratchy concrete sidewalk he can feel through his shoes, he passes the Lakeview Pantry storefront on Broadway in Chicago and tries to remember their distribution day but gets confused because the sky, so achingly blue and wide feels just like Afghanistan.

Across the street next to the big hotel that used to be the whore house shopping center back in the day when the Paul Whitman Orchestra played the gilded Spanish columns of the Aragon Theater and the ushers tapped you on the shoulder if your dancing crossed the line; he hears a child yelping in the swing set park —and his hand is on the red clay hut in Kabul, he hears that same child again, seven clicks, there is a gun, there is a gun, the flashing of the Taliban eyes and the beard and he fires and the child ripped apart, the ancient black eyes of a 5 year old, the blood pouring from his mouth as he writhes on the floor, never knowing why. . .never knowing why. . .the running sounds of the bearded rebel scampering up to the roof of the red clay death scene. . . .

The #36 Broadway bus steams over to swoosh open it’s doors and let him in. Flopping on a seat. Looking out the window again at the cruelty of the clear blue sky. It is Thursday. He tries to remember which church has the meal tonight. It is warm today, he thinks it’s November but he’s not sure. In that warmth he knows there is an undertone of a brutal hard winter in Chicago coming. He wonders where he’ll sleep when blackness comes tonight.

But then for him.

The honored veteran.

It might as well be spring.

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Barack Obama Plays Dirty

It was in the men’s locker room at the East Bank club in Chicago that the guy with the big ears asked me the question.

I had no business being in that locker room. If W-2 forms had to be flashed to get into this East Bank Club today, I might be able to sneak in while security collapsed laughing. But that would be my only chance. Back then in the early nineties, when I recognized the guy but couldn’t remember the name, I thought he was some kind of lowest on the food chain politician like a state representative or something. Back then I could have afforded the membership. But I never would have done it. Give me the YMCA any day. Way above spandex heaven. The East Bank Club had two coat rooms. One just for fur coats. The only reason I was in the building is that the software company where I worked had reserved a room for an executive team meeting. And the only reason I was in the locker room was that I snuck in after the meeting. Figured this might be my only chance to sweat with Chicago’s elite.

So I was sitting on the bench after a workout when this tall skinny guy says to me, “Hey! You know where the gym is?”

And when I answered, “Man, I don’t know where anything is here,” the guy smiled. Now, when I say he smiled, that really doesn’t even begin to describe what happened. This guy had a smile that could fire the sun. So he smiled and said, “Hey don’t worry about that! My first time here too. I got this new job and I know a few guys, just a little friendly game of hoops. You can come if you want.”

The smile was so bright I almost said yes. But somehow the fact that he was taller, younger, undoubtedly richer and MUCH better looking took hold. That and the fact that I really didn’t play basketball. So I said “Sorry! But I’m sure if you walk for a mile or so you’ll find it.”

And he says to me, “Well, take it easy!” Then he padded off into the carpeted climate controlled distance and I finished getting dressed.

I got my bag packed up and realized I wasn’t really sure how to get out of the place either. The facility is larger than many small towns. So I went through this door and I found myself on a balcony type thing overlooking a basketball court where Mr. Big Ears and a bunch of other guys where hard charging, full throttle going at a very serious game of basketball. There was a Ref. Whistles. The whole deal. And remember, these were the Michael Jordan years, so basketball meant something big in Chicago. Everyone was a basketball fan. So I put down my bag and decided to watch for a minute. First impression was that there were two kinds of guys on the court. Rich guys who spent a lot of time at the gym and rich guys who thought they could play without putting in that time.

But Mister Big Ears was different. Everything about him was different.

The other guys on the court were playing basketball. Huffing and sweating and charging and talking trash. Not Mr. Big Ears. Oh he moved. He wasn’t winded at all. But while the other guys were all playing basketball, it was almost as if Mister Big Ears was playing chess.

His eyes drew my complete attention. I watched him watch the court, and it was as if he knew everybody’s moves, all the trajectories, everything everybody was about to do before they even did it. The guy oozed strategy like everyone else sweated. Like Jordon in a way. The guy had this ethereal sense of floating. You watched him and it was almost as if he wasn’t there. Like he was 5 steps ahead of the game waiting for everyone else to catch up.

Until his team started losing. That’s when everything changed.

He missed a pass. Somebody yelled “Barry!” And I saw a focus I hadn’t seen before.

And that was when the ref swallowed his whistle.

Maybe you’ve heard that before? Swallowing his whistle? It means, well it means a few things. But one of them is that the players now own the game. There are no rules.

And that’s when this Big ears guy turned it on. At first it was hard to see. The elbows to the opposing team came so quick, you really weren’t sure you saw them All you saw was his opposition grabbing themselves in pain.

Then there were the feints. Big Ears would charge —remember, there is no ref anymore—and totally fool the bumbling opponent. Even make him look kind of stupid.

The feints built into a rhythm. Big Ears team had pulled out ahead. The speed of the game cranked up yet another notch.

Then the blood.

I don’t know how big ears drew blood. I never really saw it. Another guy had come on to their team. A talker. He kept up a patter. Talked so loud, so hard it was as if his talk was a weapon in itself. Big ears team started laughing. Because the other guys had nothing. They had nothing and it showed. Meanwhile this James guy, bald guy with glasses? He kept talking,

All the while Big Ears was dodging and feinting and slipping in elbows so fast that I am still not sure, till this day, what I saw. It happened that fast.

All I know is that when the game was over, Big Ears team had won. That guy who was so good with the talking came over and put his arm around Big Ears. Both of them laughing.

But the strangest thing of all? The part I still don’t understand? I was up in this balcony or grandstand or whatever. I thought no one could see me. I was the one watching. No one knew I was there.

But as Big Ears walked off the court? He looked up at me. Straight at me. Eye to eye. And he smiled and waved.

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My Jill Clayburgh Movie Date

Back when we thought everything was possible because we had already made all our mistakes, Jill Clayburgh jumped off the movie screen and — in the sticky floor popcorn darkness of the Village Theater on Clark Street in Chicago, landed in the empty seat next to mine. Nodding at the tub of popcorn in my lap, she whispered, “Did you get the extra butter?” And when I shot back, “Yep,” she smiled deep, stuck her hand in to the tub, and we both began to watch her up on the screen in “An Unmarried Woman.”

Off and on she’d put her hands over her eyes, whispering, “Oh God, I don’t really look like that do I?” But through most of it she smiled and riffed on the plot line and the characters. “The husband had to dump me. He never would have been able to deal when he found out our kid was gay.” And then later, “Ok so I found the sensitive artist. But then six months after the movie ended he was spending more time on his hair and beard than I was.” And lets not even talk about how the son of a bitch made me carry that giant pretentious piece of crap painting down the street by myself! I got your ‘I am woman’ right here pal!”

Jill and I went way back. She grew up in a big yellow house on Lake Street in the same suburb I did. But that was when we were kids. When we met again as grown ups, she was pure, straight city of Chicago solid smart and one of funniest people on the face of the earth. I never really knew why it never clicked hard and final. Maybe because she would think sentences like that last one are trite. But then I’d have to agree with her.

When we got to her ballet scene, dancing across her bed and then through her living room, framed by the high-rise views of New York City, she covered her face at the opening shot of just her waking up. Stuffing popcorn into her mouth and then grabbing my coke from the armrest and washing it down.

Both of us staring up at the screen at her eyes opening to the morning, the thought flashed again that Jill was not the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen, until you looked twice.

“You know, she said, this scene makes me cringe.”

“I love this!”

“Which part of me not being able to dance do you like best?”

“It’s not just about dancing. . .it’s. . “

“OK Mister Deep and Sensitive. The artist in the movie, you saw where that went. And all this popcorn. Isn’t it about time we got some beer? Lets go to that bar you’re always talking about and I can watch you fawn, grovel and suck up to whatever writer happens to be drunk tonight.”

I laughed and said, “OK, OK, it’s not like I haven’t seen the movie at least 5 times already,” and we bundled up to get ready for January in Chicago.

In the lobby of the theater, putting on gloves and scarves, she said, “Wait! Do you have your little writer toys”

“What are you. . .”

“C’mon, open up the back pack. Let’s see who you got riding along with you tonight. As if I couldn’t guess.” She reached over, unzipped the top of my back pack and stuck her hand inside, looked at the ceiling of the theater lobby and said, “Show me, Algren and McMurtry!” and then pulled out battered copies of ‘The Man With the Golden Arm,’ and ‘All My Friend’s Are Going to Be Strangers.’

And as we walked out on to Clark Street and turned the corner on to North Avenue, the gale force icy winds of January roaring right off the thunderous Lake and driving at our backs she said, “C’mon writer boy, give me a first line please.”

“Jill I don’t know, I can’t remember every. . .”

The wind kept pushing us west into the winter lights and she said, “C’mon” as she took my arm and huddled in close. “C’mon it will help keep us warm! First line please!

“OK. Let’s see. . .’ the captain never drank. Yet towards nightfall in that smoke colored season between Indian summer and December’s first true snow, he would sometimes feel half drunken.”

“See!” she said smiling. I knew you had it in you! Now tell me the name of the place we’re going again.”

“O’Rourke’s,” I said. “And it will be warm.”

It was only a couple blocks, but we walked in, and it was warm. A gauzy, smoke drenched conversation rippling like a friendly steady pumping space heater filled the room. We found two seats at the bar. There were writers at the tables. Some I recognized, some I did not. Each table like an instrument in some orchestra, the ghosts of writers past resurrected in the dangling conversational symphony. All of it settled in as a comforting din, background music to the dancing light in Jill’s eyes.

I don’t remember what we talked about. I only remember that we never stopped talking. I remember thinking Jill just might be the funniest smart person I had ever known. And if there was an edge in her, a character that might start spilling at the seams on a seconds notice. . .I could fix that. I could help her through it. This is back when I thought I could fix someone else. Back when I looked hard for something that needed fixing, didn’t matter if it was real or not, just so I could come riding in and fix it. I remember looking into her eyes for hours and then I remember only sleep.

Then just sleep. Jill’s eyes and then sleep.

And then my leg being shaken. Cramped. Stiff. Hearing, “Hey, old man! Wake up old man! Wake up! You done this before! You know you not supposed to be in here!

“But I always come to O’Rourke’s I said. Hey, you know Ebert smiled at me once! And Royko, he scowled at me. Told me to get the f—out of his way!”

“Old man. This is Old Town ale House. I don’t know this O’Rourke’s. I don’t know these people. I just gotta clean now. So you gotta go.”

“But I have a key! A back door key! See, there was this time they were betting who could come up with the most character names from The Great Gatsby? And I won. And the prize was a key to the place. So, sometimes I forget stuff now. And I need to sleep. But I stay away from the shelters, I stay away from the shelters.”

“Yeah, well, listen old man. You take your shopping cart and you move along now.”

And as I bundled up, put my hat on and slouched towards the door, leaning over the home I kept in my shopping cart, something spilled out. The man hurrying me on my way picked up what had spilled. “Hey, he said, “These are books. ‘The Man With the Golden Arm’ and ‘All My Friends are Going to Be Strangers. Are these yours? Why you carrying around books?”

To which I stopped. Stood up straight, stopped leaning on my cart, puffed out my chest, and said, “Why do I want books? Well, to answer that, I’d have to tell you about Jill. ‘She had the clearest eyes, the most honest face, I missed it so—ah no chance.’”

“You talk crazy, old man.”

I smiled and said, “So to answer your question. Why am I carrying around these books? Here’s why. Better just to want books—Jill was gone.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dcxQYeVsA8]

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10 Post Election Survival Tips

BEER: The two guys in the picture were the candidates for Senator from Illinois. Last night they met over beers in Chicago’s most celebrated dive bar The Billy Goat Tavern—conveniently located below Michigan Avenue and within blocks of every media outlet in the city. The guy in the Black Hawks cap lost. If he had worn the hat earlier, I would have been a lot more excited about voting for him. But that’s not important now. What’s important is that these two met for beer.

RUSS FEINGOLD: Google “class act concession speech.” You’ll see.

JOBS: Maybe now we’ll all see that they are not all holed up in an underground missile silo in South Dakota waiting for Peter Pan to sprinkle magic fairy dust and set free the jobs to run throughout the land. Or that if we just give Captain Hook more money/tax breaks—he’ll make jobs for all the little boys and girls. Maybe now there will be a realistic plan that recognizes TWO problems: 1) Creating Jobs. and 2) Connecting people to jobs.

HISTORY: Rumor has it, did not begin in 2008.

THE PRESIDENT: Who perhaps would not be the president if he had not lost the New Hampshire primary. And did you notice how he handled this like a grown-up? If not—watch his remarks unfiltered and without analysis. Ward Cleaver could not have done a better job of taking responsibility, showing humility and a vision to press onward.

COMMON PRINCIPLES: Here’s a start. “In essentials, unity. In non-essentials harmony, in all things love.” It’s not left, right or centrist. It’s a common principle.

SLOWING DOWN INTERNET RUMORS: Enjoy this while it lasts. (It might be over by the time you read this) But you probably won’t hear a lot of people bleating out “I’m not saying I BELIEVE John Boehner is an Austrian born, cyrpto-fascist, bought and paid for tool of the insurance lobby, I’m just saying I’m not sure.”

SAVING THE VILLAGE BY BURNING IT DOWN: Maybe there will be more clarity as to why this doesn’t work. Because what if it turned out we all live in the village?

EARMARKERON: If, in this tiny little moment, the guns have gone quiet and the attacks have stopped, we’ll need a villain. A bad guy. Doesn’t have to be real. Just has to be something to attack. That’s where Earmarkeron comes in. He hid in my closet when I was 6. I think he feasted on wire coat hangers. He might have drank blood. He has bloodshot eyes and a purple puffy face. Feel free to hate, attack (directly or indirectly) see him behind every piece of legislation or moving next door to you and reeking havoc with your property taxes. He is there for all of us to hate and fear. So we have that covered. No need for any other fear mongering.

FRANK SINATRA: Just try not smiling when he sings.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KooGgtsZLbg]

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After the Election? Desolation Row

In a time that makes no sense. . . .I turn to Bob Dylan. And that Jerry Garcia guy? Pretty good guitar. . . .

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZeqZl6OgOUA]

Praise be to Nero’s Neptune
The Titanic sails at dawn
Everybody’s shouting
“Which side are you on ?”
And Ezra Pound and T. S. Eliot
Fighting in the captain’s tower
While calypso singers laugh at them
And fishermen hold flowers
Between the windows of the sea
Where lovely mermaids flow
And nobody has to think too much
About Desolation Row.
Yes, I received your letter yesterday
About the time the door knob broke
When you asked me how I was doing
Was that some kind of joke ?
All these people that you mention
Yes, I know them, they’re quite lame
I had to rearrange their faces
And give them all another name
Right now I can’t read too good
Dont send me no more letters no
Not unless you mail them
From Desolation Row.

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Planting Trees on Election Day

When Sheila Simon was a little girl, her Dad used to take all the kids out on election day and plant a tree.

That way, no matter what happened in the election, something good would come from the day.

Sheila’s Dad was the legendary United States Senator Paul Simon. A man who looked like an accountant or a college professor. All glasses and an adams apple bobbing. When he said public service, you felt like you knew what he meant.

Drive south from Chicago, leave the sprawl, and glide across every flat and endless prairie, keep motoring towards always that always distant horizon, till every road rises up from desolation dreams.

Listen for any voice saying ‘public service’ like they mean it.

And check to see if they’ve planted any trees.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jsvks2ojjJ0]

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Heroin Voting Day

Cassie Huxley took the deal. Dollar a bag heroin. Just before election time.

Cassie didn’t know that the smaller the voter turnout, the better it went for the silent man who gave the nod for heroin to cost a dollar a bag on the west side of Chicago, just before election day.

Cassie stayed on the west side of Chicago. She stayed wherever it was warm. She kept moving. Pushing her cart.

She knew nothing about how the new price of heroin was reported on by the Chicago News Cooperative. Nothing about how State Senator Rickey Hendon–a man they called “Hollywood” had told James Warren, perhaps Chicago’s best reporter, that suddenly now, just before the election, the new price of heroin was $1.00 a bag.

Cassie knew cold was coming. She could smell it in the golden November light that cut down through the elevated tracks and made the criss cross shadows on the street that she rumbled over with her cart.

She knew nothing about another Huxley. Long ago. Man wrote a book about something called “soma.” Man said soma had ‘all the advantages of Christianity and alcohol and none of their defects.”

She knew where to get coffee. She knew the food pantries. The churches. Knew enough to stay out of the shelters. Didn’t care where the dollar bag came from. Only cared that it was a dollar. She never read Mr. Huxley and his book “Brave New World” when he wrote ‘ Soma distribution! In good order please. Hurry up there!

Cassie had an address. Never stayed there. But it was an address. And that meant she could vote.

And this was an election when every vote counted.

But Cassie didn’t know that. And it’s awful hard to remember to vote when you walk the streets strung out, so strung out that you can’t smell the cold coming, can’t smell nothing at all.

Cassie didn’t know that the smaller the voter turnout, the better it went for the silent man who gave the nod for heroin to cost a dollar a bag on the west side of Chicago, just before election day.

So Cassie bought her bag. She forgot about voting.

All she remembered, like a lady, sad, sad, lady sang somewhere, sometime, was to get it while you can.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ju9yFA1S7K8]

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At the Steve Goodman Post Office

null

I will turn their mourning into joy.

Jeremiah 31:13

“There are 15 cars and 15 restless riders. Three conductors and 25 sacks of mail.”
Steve Goodman

October’s winds in Chicago this year blew hurricane force grey terrifying. For two days straight. Bending trees to the ground, snapping power lines, shaking the foundations of houses and souls, shattering car windshields and making dogs whimper.

But it was round about this hard autumn that the solid squat concrete federal fortress that had stood forever at the corner of Southport and Irving Park Road was somehow renamed the Steve Goodman Post Office.

Now below the Works Progress Administration mural that lines the top of one wall, it’s colors still celebrating the clink clank hammer pounding rhythm of accomplishment to be heard when the people of the last Great Depression would go back to work; below that mural swirling through the lines for stamps and packages parcel post, there would be now and forever the smiling elfin spirit of the great musician from Skokie, Illinois, Steve Goodman. His bright eyes shining, guitar strumming music from the time he learned to play guitar at the Old Town School of Folk Music, listening to Bob Gibson, from that time on to forever and a day.
And as the October gale force winds calmed and the sky turned achingly brilliant blue against the orange and yellow autumn leaves miraculously still left on the trees; I am taken by the calmer autumn winds of time and find myself in summer.
A gymnasium on the campus of St. Olaf College in Northfield Minnesota. A warm July night. Packed to the rafters with 3,000 souls and no one is breathing.

For 5 full seconds. No one took a breath. Caught and held by Steve Goodman on a stage alone. Without even his guitar, he took us all totally into the life of a young woman named Penny Evans. A widow in the war that’s being fought in Viet Nam. At when he bowed his head finished singing the story, no one could breathe for 5 seconds. I remember counting them. Because as the 5 seconds ended and the thunder of the applause shook the building, I looked around me and felt the panic rise in my throat.

One of my charges, one of the 6 kids I was supposed to be watching, was gone. I say kids, now with a wistful smile. They were 16-17 years old. I was maybe 19. But they were patients in a residential treatment center. One for emotionally disturbed kids. I was a counselor. A college intern. And I was in trouble.

We were all standing on the floor of the gym, clustered around the stage. At the beginning of the song Vicki, 16 and scars like railroad ties slit running from each wrist up to each elbow, Vicki was right next to me. At the end of Penny Evans, as the tears came pouring in the stunned silence of the room, Vicki was gone.

So I herded my other five kids into a circle around Gail, the other counselor. “Vicki’s gone! Watch everybody! I’ll be back!” And I pushed, much to the annoyance of the people around me, through the crowd to the doors where the crowd had spilled out on to the steps and into the July breezes.

About 10 seconds later, the panic stopped. I saw Vicki. Calmly standing on the steps. Having a serious conversation with Steve Goodman. Who could not have been listening more intently.

Walking, now with my fear gone, up behind her, I heard her say to Steve Goodman, “Well, what it really is, is a mental hospital. But you’d be surprised. Most everybody seems pretty normal. We’re here with 2 counselors tonight. One of them is a guy from Chicago. He likes you a lot. So he arranged this. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you’d like to come back with us after the concert. Everybody would like you. I know they would.”

To which Steve Goodman answered, “Well Vicki I appreciate that. I really do. But I’ve got to drive back to Chicago tonight. Because tomorrow I need to catch a plane to go somewhere else. But thank you!”

“OK said Vicki. Oh, there’s a counselor now. But listen, I just wanted to tell you. You are a really good singer.”

“Why thank you Vicki! Thank you so much!” said Steve Goodman, his face beaming like an eternal sun. He saw me motion Vicki over, wipe the sweat off my brow in a gesture of ‘whew, thank goodness I found her.’ I gave him a wave and mouthed the words “thank you.”

And Steve Goodman just smiled.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6W_a2U-bIU]

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Dylan Thomas’s October Truth

“O may my heart’s truth
Still be sung
On this high hill in a year’s turning.”

It was my thirtieth year to heaven
Woke to my hearing from harbour and neighbour wood
And the mussel pooled and the heron
Priested shore
The morning beckon
With water praying and call of seagull and rook
And the knock of sailing boats on the net webbed wall
Myself to set foot
That second
In the still sleeping town and set forth.

My birthday began with the water-
Birds and the birds of the winged trees flying my name
Above the farms and the white horses
And I rose
In rainy autumn
And walked abroad in a shower of all my days.
High tide and the heron dived when I took the road
Over the border
And the gates
Of the town closed as the town awoke.

A springful of larks in a rolling
Cloud and the roadside bushes brimming with whistling
Blackbirds and the sun of October
Summery
On the hill’s shoulder,
Here were fond climates and sweet singers suddenly
Come in the morning where I wandered and listened
To the rain wringing
Wind blow cold
In the wood faraway under me.

Pale rain over the dwindling harbour
And over the sea wet church the size of a snail
With its horns through mist and the castle
Brown as owls
But all the gardens
Of spring and summer were blooming in the tall tales
Beyond the border and under the lark full cloud.
There could I marvel
My birthday
Away but the weather turned around.

It turned away from the blithe country
And down the other air and the blue altered sky
Streamed again a wonder of summer
With apples
Pears and red currants
And I saw in the turning so clearly a child’s
Forgotten mornings when he walked with his mother
Through the parables
Of sun light
And the legends of the green chapels

And the twice told fields of infancy
That his tears burned my cheeks and his heart moved in mine.
These were the woods the river and sea
Where a boy
In the listening
Summertime of the dead whispered the truth of his joy
To the trees and the stones and the fish in the tide.
And the mystery
Sang alive
Still in the water and singingbirds.

And there could I marvel my birthday
Away but the weather turned around. And the true
Joy of the long dead child sang burning
In the sun.
It was my thirtieth
Year to heaven stood there then in the summer noon
Though the town below lay leaved with October blood.
O may my heart’s truth
Still be sung
On this high hill in a year’s turning.

Dylan Thomas. Born October 27, 1914. Swansea, South Wales

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvw3leyAPow]

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