BEER: The two guys in the picture were the candidates for Senator from Illinois. Last night they met over beers in Chicago’s most celebrated dive bar The Billy Goat Tavern—conveniently located below Michigan Avenue and within blocks of every media outlet in the city. The guy in the Black Hawks cap lost. If he had worn the hat earlier, I would have been a lot more excited about voting for him. But that’s not important now. What’s important is that these two met for beer.
RUSS FEINGOLD: Google “class act concession speech.” You’ll see.
JOBS: Maybe now we’ll all see that they are not all holed up in an underground missile silo in South Dakota waiting for Peter Pan to sprinkle magic fairy dust and set free the jobs to run throughout the land. Or that if we just give Captain Hook more money/tax breaks—he’ll make jobs for all the little boys and girls. Maybe now there will be a realistic plan that recognizes TWO problems: 1) Creating Jobs. and 2) Connecting people to jobs.
HISTORY: Rumor has it, did not begin in 2008.
THE PRESIDENT: Who perhaps would not be the president if he had not lost the New Hampshire primary. And did you notice how he handled this like a grown-up? If not—watch his remarks unfiltered and without analysis. Ward Cleaver could not have done a better job of taking responsibility, showing humility and a vision to press onward.
COMMON PRINCIPLES: Here’s a start. “In essentials, unity. In non-essentials harmony, in all things love.” It’s not left, right or centrist. It’s a common principle.
SLOWING DOWN INTERNET RUMORS: Enjoy this while it lasts. (It might be over by the time you read this) But you probably won’t hear a lot of people bleating out “I’m not saying I BELIEVE John Boehner is an Austrian born, cyrpto-fascist, bought and paid for tool of the insurance lobby, I’m just saying I’m not sure.”
SAVING THE VILLAGE BY BURNING IT DOWN: Maybe there will be more clarity as to why this doesn’t work. Because what if it turned out we all live in the village?
EARMARKERON: If, in this tiny little moment, the guns have gone quiet and the attacks have stopped, we’ll need a villain. A bad guy. Doesn’t have to be real. Just has to be something to attack. That’s where Earmarkeron comes in. He hid in my closet when I was 6. I think he feasted on wire coat hangers. He might have drank blood. He has bloodshot eyes and a purple puffy face. Feel free to hate, attack (directly or indirectly) see him behind every piece of legislation or moving next door to you and reeking havoc with your property taxes. He is there for all of us to hate and fear. So we have that covered. No need for any other fear mongering.
FRANK SINATRA: Just try not smiling when he sings.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KooGgtsZLbg]